Why I love Channel 7 News < /sarcasm >
August 29, 2005
Alright, I just finished watching 24 (which is just getting good now that Tony and Michelle are back on) and I made the mistake of hanging around for the Channel 7 News update. I simply laughed out loud.
First story, Hurricane Katrina, about to mess shit up in the States. Usual stuff: waves overs piers, satellite images showing red blobs heading towards green blobs. And then the piece de resistance, the on-the-scene reporter. Reporting from Mobile, LA, complete with rain coat, umbrella, background wind and everything. Seriously, it just looks ridiculous. Drop the charade and go somewhere warm and dry. It just reminds me of the skit Adam played on the Daily Source Code a while back done by Pete at Rasterweb (I think?). My personal favourite part of the story? Ann Sanders signing off to the windblown reporter with the completely resonable phrase, “take it easy”.
Second story, The Model (you know, Michelle Leslie / Michelle Lee whatever) has revealed she is actually Muslim. Collective gasp. If this is the best her hotshot lawyer can come up with, she is in serious strife. Apparently, The Model, fresh from shooting swimwear and underwear ads, is now donning full head-to-toe black garb and a hijab. Just don’t let the attention-seeking backbenchers catch you in anything resembling a religion-based headscarf. Lesson here: when on drug charges in Indonesia, the best thing to do is just anything at all, as long as you stay in the news. Still, she’s higher in my esteem than the other bloke busted recently with a truck load of drugs. He (apparently) was quite happy to be arrested, as he was ‘out of smokes’ and cheerfully told family and friends that he’ll see them in a few years. Personally, I think it’s fantastic that we are offloading these Australians to Balinese prisons. It’s the Balinese I feel sorry for.
Third story, John Brogden’s resignation. This was ludicrous when the ’story’ broke and now it’s just getting stupid. Long story short: the NSW opposition leader called the Malaysian-born wife of outgoing premier Bob Carr, Helena Carr, a ‘mail-order bride’. So you can see the repulsive nature of the man already. But it gets better. At the same time, he’s also been busted having a shot at a couple of female journalists. It’s one thing to have a dip at a party, but two female journalists? Just asking for it really. I’ll just leave it with a quote from Bob Carr on Brogden: “Brogden has no character, Brogden is a featherweight mediocrity who ought to be voted out of the leadership of his party this week.” Says it all, really.
Final story, the cricket. We are currently sucking against England. And it’s the fourth biggest news story in the world.
Thank God I didn’t accidently catch Today Tonight. Current top stories? Paradoxically, they are debunking the CSIRO Diet, while road-testing meat pies. Anyone remember Frontline?
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