Commonwealth Games Opening Ceremony verdict

Date March 15, 2006

I am a hardcore cynic, I’ll freely admit that. I’m also a Melbournian. The combination of these does not bode well for an event such as the Opening Ceremony of the Commonwealth Games. For months now, I have been practising my cringe for the ritual slaughter of local and national landmarks at the altar of international recognition. To the credit and shame of the CommGames organisers, tonight provided both sides of the coin.

The opening theatricals were simply scary. The combination of whoring out recognised icons and what must have been a bewildering display of regional in-jokes for outsiders surely ostracised everyone viewing the event. Melbourne and Australia’s obsession with things such as trams and thongs has got to go. Seriously, do streetcars, cablecars, flipflops and jandals ring a bell to anyone? The charity koalas rampaging around stage and through the air was up there with the bike-riding kangaroo of Atlanta and the Nicholas Webster dangling above the ‘G was a throwback to everything that was resented about the Sydney 2000 curtain raiser.

On the flipside, I was surprisingly proud of our town once this nightmare was over. The choice of The Cat Empire playing background music was a masterstroke and perhaps surpassed Tiesto’s effort in Athens, which I thoroughly appreciated. The teams looked fantastic, apart from the illegible umbrellas that led them in (a pity, as a friend was carrying that of a small Pacific country). I even have to give credit to Delta Goodrem, whose cash-cow Games anthem was gratefully well delivered, although it is clearly begging for a dance remix (please, somebody). This is a big call, as I was seriously caning it after reading the lyrics in the paper this morning.

The baton relay was nicely understated, and the use of the AFL captains was good, at least from a Victorian point of view. Barassi was fantastic. An instant dismissal should be handed to the severely deficiant cameraman who focused on the teleprompter displaying the Queen’s message ‘contained in the baton’ when the baton was placed on the pedastal. Unforgivable. On the subject of Betty, one glance at her was enough to realise she was thinking of every single other place she would rather be. Conversely, the perpetually outdated Prince Phillip looked like he was having a great time and provided one of the surprises of the night. Dame Kiri Te Kanawa was one of the hightlights (typical, given that she is a Kiwi crashing an aussie event), and managed a brilliant mashup of Happy Birthday and God Save The Queen, artfully addressing one of the major debacles the Games has faced so far. For the record, I believe GSTQ should have been played in full, not that I believe in retaining the monarchy in the least.

Another debacle, that of our friend Jana, was apparently fair game and was jumped upon by the various commentators, much to my approval. Any comparison of the Olympics to the CommGames was swiftly addressed however, and God help anyone who said ‘torch’ instead of ‘baton’.

Fireworks were standard stuff, launched from buildings around town and along the Yarra. However, I say give the games to Hong Kong (although I guess they aren’t Commonwealth anymore?) and see how they light up a skyline. The Yarra flags and fishes were also a surprise and were quite nicely done.

On the whole, I was very impressed with the show. Subtract the horrific theatricals and it was a great spectacle. The MCG truly looked amazing and inspired pride as an Australian and particularly as a Melbournian, which does pose the question of where Lord Mayor John So was…

And now the games begin. Not necessarily the sporting events, I’m referring to me trying to catch public transport for the next two weeks.

pic thanks to The Age

Category Posted in News

  • The trams are a mixed blessing. They beat the hell out of catching a bus - they're easier to catch, stops are more obvious, and usually avoid the hassles of traffic. For getting around the city in particular, they are definately my preference.
    However, they can be slow and a bit jerky and pale in comparison to a train. Catching one for miles can also be a bit of a drag.

    Melbourne's public transport is a three tiered system: You catch a train to get somewhere, get a tram anywhere in between rail lines and catch a bus to places not covered by a tram. The system does need an overhaul, as it is not as effective as it should be and has been particularly bad recently. Melbourne's population is simply too sprawled out for operators to make a profit and that makes it hard for them to invest in the system in return. Thankfully, it's fairly easy to understand and the ticketing is relatively straight forward.

    As for avoiding the city while the Games are on, I wouldn't be so hesitant. Most of the events are outside the main city area and there's no real need for people to cut through the city. If you aren't on a tram/train line that goes to one of the events, then you shouldn't be too bad. Just avoid the peak hour crushes and possibly Flinders St station if you can. If you're heading to Murmur, Stork, Loop or similar in the city, you should be fine, there just might be some extra tourists around town (plenty of Canadians probably!). Just work out how long your trip will take and flick on the iPod.

    Interestingly, today was the first day of the Games and I had the best train/tram ride to work (peak hour) I've had in weeks. Go figure.
  • Slightly, but not really off topic...

    The trams here ARE PAINFULLY SLOW. :| I am going to be avoiding downtown these next two weeks as I don't own a car and must tram it. This is a shame because there are a couple non-commonwealth things I'd like to do (example: attend an interesting sounding discussion at a downtown pub) but my experiences with the trams here have been less then stellar.

    When I first thought of coming to Melbourne, people would always tell me how amazing the public transport is...are the talking in reference to the rest of Australia? Or are they just plain on crack?
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